As a priest, I’ve seen it before, having first only read about it, the regret which sometimes haunts those very near death, so near the end that nothing else can done. Regret haunted even further by fear: it’s a chilling thing to witness. It’s real. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about that, how perhaps we don’t think about that enough.

You know that famous line at the very end of that book by Leon Bloy, The Woman Who Was Poor. Most people haven’t read the book, only that haunting line. “‘There is only one misery,’ she said, the last time she saw him, ‘and that is—NOT TO BE SAINTS.’”[1] That’s how the book ends, that’s the regret I’m talking about.

It’s the same feeling you get at the end of Graham Greene’s The Power and the Glory. The “whiskey priest,” jailed and soon to die; “He knew that at the end there was only one thing that counted—to be a saint,” Greene writes.[2] Again, that’s what I’m talking about. As I said I only read about it first; only as a priest I have seen it for real. It is real; that’s what I’m trying to say. Again, I think we should probably think about it more, about that regret and fear that can come to you at the end.

It is though, of course, regret and fear Jesus wants ultimately to take from us. He wants to free us from this anxiety. He doesn’t want us at our deaths to be afraid or full of regret like that at all. I know it seems odd to say I think we should think more about such regret and fear when Jesus clearly wants to liberate us from it.

But, you see, the thing is it’s not just that Jesus tells us to stop worrying. It’s not like he’s saying, “Forget about it.” He’s not telling us there is no real cause to fear, that it’s an illusion, that it’s irrational to fear. That’s not what Jesus is saying at all. Rather, he’s asking us to recognize the kingdom of God and its reality and to change our lives by the lights of that kingdom such that we no longer have reason to fear.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”[3] That’s what Jesus is saying, that now in this fallen world there is a way to live that can lift us up out of fear. But you really must live it; that’s the thing. Jesus wants us to fear the right thing—God, the judgment. Don’t fear those who can kill the body, instead fear him who has the power to cast into hell is what the Lord says; Jesus actually says, “I…warn you.”[4] Don’t fear the loss of material things, the loss of money; don’t worry about what will happen if you give away too much to charity, to the poor. Worry instead what will happen to you if you don’t. As regards your wealth, Jesus doesn’t say don’t worry, rather, he says don’t be fool. If you want to live without fear, then quit living like a fool, like the kingdom isn’t real. Because it’ll be real before you know it, Jesus says; the kingdom may even sneak up on you. “This night your soul is required of you,” the story goes.[5] Jesus didn’t tell that story to put us at ease. He told that story to change us.

Which is my point. How do you expect to live without fear if you’ve made no real attempt to change your life? If you’re still greedy, for example, and if you think God or the Bible or your priest or the Church or Jesus have nothing to tell you about it at all, have nothing to say to you about your wealth or what you should do with it because it’s yours and you’ve earned it and who are they to say anything to you; if that’s you, why do you think you’re entitled to live without fear when the word of God so clearly warns otherwise? “Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but almsgiving delivers from death.”[6] That’s Proverbs; that’s rabbinic truth; and that is exactly what Jesus teaches. Again, Jesus isn’t just saying don’t worry about it; he’s saying change your life. Anyway, all I can tell you is that’s the truth; the best I can do is repeat the truth. And I guess another thing: in my experience some get this truth and some don’t, and it’s up to you. Best of luck; you’re in my prayers. “Blessed is that servant whom his master on arrival finds doing so.”[7] What will he find you doing?

It was a story the philosopher Kierkegaard told that pushed me finally to take the faith seriously, converted me, I guess you could say. I wouldn’t be here talking to you had not this story hit me the way it did that day; I can’t really explain it. It was a story about a man drowning, about the last breath the man breathed before sinking to the bottom. “In that,” Kierkegaard wrote, “the last hope of salvation expired. In that…he gave himself up. Was there still concealed…a hope of salvation? Hidden in the soul, was there still…a possible link with salvation?”[8]

I don’t know what to tell you, not sure why I shared that with you; that’s personal. It’s just I want to say that the time to be a good Catholic is now, the time to forgive is now, the time to love your neighbor as yourself is now, the time to give your money to the poor or to the Church is now. Not later, not when you’ve got comfortable, not when you’ve finally settled in: that’s dangerous; it’s foolish, Jesus says. This night your soul may be required. Don’t fear, but only if you’re not a fool.

What I’m trying to press is a sense of urgency; I’m trying to disturb our sense of complacency. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re asked to help the poor—maybe it’s Catholic Charities or St. Vincent de Paul or your church or some stranger on the street—maybe in those moments your soul is more in the balance than you think. At least I think we ought to think about that possibility. I mean, I’m just trying to tell you what Jesus is saying here. I’m trying to tell you the truth.

You see, I just don’t want to have that regret I’ve read about and seen with my own eyes, and I don’t want you to have that regret either. But we must be converted. The kingdom must become real for you, for me, for us. None of this is pretend; you can’t ignore it; you can’t think this part of the Gospel doesn’t apply to you.

Man, when the Gospel really hits, it’s an awesome thing—fear conquering fear. Amen.

[1] Leon Bloy, The Woman Who Was Poor, 356

[2] Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory, 210

[3] Luke 12:32

[4] Luke 12:4-5

[5] Luke 12:20

[6] Proverbs 11:4. See also Gary Anderson, Charity: The Place of the Poor in the Biblical Tradition, 54-55

[7] Luke 12:43

[8] Søren Kierkegaard, Purity of the Heart is to Will One Thing, 65

© 2025 Rev. Joshua J. Whitfield